Life is as it is.
I have made many mistakes in my life and they were out of cowardice, out of weakness. It’s easy to want to give up on your potential, your responsibilities and make excuses to justify your choices. The moment you do that, you save a part of yourself, and betray another part that will retreat to safer places. You’ll go through an inner soul fragmentation, a search for yourself, and a filling of the resulting inner emptiness. No part of you wants to be denied or killed… all parts of you want this; to be seen and integrated.
I have betrayed my Mother archetype and my self-respect in the past just to numb fleeting pains and insecurities. When I thought I was being true to the Mother archetype in me, I realized it was just a personal obsession fueled by fear of death. There are four existential worries that influence your psychic life depending on how you manage and heal them; fear of death, freedom, existential isolation, and meaninglessness. They are deeply ingrained in the human soul and manifest themselves on the surface through behaviors that you would not think at first glance their root are these existential fears.
For instance, if you listen to the Little Mermaid story, which draws inspiration from both folklore and Andersen’s own life story, you will see that her desire to fall in love stems primarily from her concern that she does not possess an immortal soul like humans do. She is told that only if she has the love of a man to marry will she be given an immortal soul. And we know what pain she has gone through… yet by making the right choice in the end, she is rewarded with the chance to get an immortal soul by being a Daughter of the Air, caring for the children of men, shedding tears for them or rejoicing over their beautiful destiny. Pure and simple, this story purifies your soul and restores your own power and autonomy.
Yet such idealized loves are understandable. We often idealize someone and live an inner fantasy only as a mechanism of emotional self-regulation. It’s a dysfunctional mechanism and in the long run it wastes precious time that you would otherwise have invested in personal growth and more focused use of your gifts.
We are told it’s not good to be a people pleaser. But have we thought how tricky it can be to please ourselves all the time? To fulfill our every desire, to respond to every emotional impulse without setting limits? Respect requires limits, and allowing ourselves to do anything is letting our own being sink down a waterfall.
I know this because I used to be someone who indulged in everything. Of course, I had a period of exemplary conformity, of limits both inner and outer. But at some point I went through a split in my identity when my Shadow self demanded its rights to assert itself.
It is not so easy to identify your shadow self. It generally represents this self-sabotage or what you repress, or what annoys you about other people. However, you may think that you can be sabotaged in many ways, and your shadow self can sometimes be chameleonic.
It hides from you because it fears being exiled… each psychological instance within ourselves has its own life and energy. So everyone wants, above all, to survive individually. Being like a mother who takes care of these psychological archetypes that are born out of your uniqueness, it is wise to offer care and acceptance. Then set boundaries and create a safe space for every side of you that wants to assert itself.
Being a mother to yourself and practicing on yourself this wisdom that we have in our DNA is the most healing thing you can do. If fear demands your attention and energy, if depression wants some of your attention too, just look at them and invite them to tea.
Offer them acceptance and see how you will build the most resilient personal foundation. Respect every part of yourself, give them time to get to know them, honor them and in return they will work in your favor. You need vitality and energy to flourish in life and through inner harmony, you have this power. Don’t waste too much time dwelling on the past. This is the best advice I’ve received and which I offer myself. There are only two things you need to do to reset your life and align all your inner energies: make the decision that this is what you are going to do and dedicate yourself to a period of inner work.
I am with you and I will guide you in cultivating your self-respect, self-confidence and creating the Immortal Child. It is the emotional and spiritual aspect in you that will be the source of your vitality, it will be the divine essence that you will take care of in the temple of your body: it will be your pillar of support.
