Alchemize your past to enrich your future
Congratulations, you have triplets!
When was the last time you were like a mom to your inner world? To your Inner Child, your Miracle Child and your Immortal Child. It’s easy to forget how to take care of yourself when you’re caught in the flow of life. The only wall in front of you is the one you put up with your own hand. Better use those bricks to build stepping stones to self-fulfillment.
You know those moments when life leaves you with nothing, hoping to get your feet back on the ground and listen to your higher self? I was in such a moment when it seemed all I did was dig my own grave. I was out of money, no rent, and the situation at work was unsafe as well. My family knew things were going well, and when I returned home, I had to keep up appearances and not betray the problems I had.
But I can’t complain. The number of my life path is 5, so no matter how much I sought stability, the same sabotage from my shadow self was happening. I saw It destabilized my life in the fall season. If you pay attention to the course of your life, you will notice that there are certain seasons in your personal development. For me, there were always events in the fall that would reset my life, I was usually left without what I had accumulated, and I had to find a way to reinvent myself. Winter also comes with its own emotional challenges, cold, reduced sunlight… yet it brings purity, rest and removes bacteria from life.
Why so much instability? On the one hand it was the age at which mistakes are made and their long term impact cannot be properly appreciated; on the other hand it was poor self-awareness and weakness of character. Weak character is the saddest thing that can exist. Cowardice… it is harshly condemned.
And I have been cowardly at certain times in my life, times for which I have paid dearly. How can you regain your dignity and personal boundaries when you’ve done everything to destroy them? First, you have to be mean, face the truth and admit how you screwed up.
Victimizing only makes the situation worse and increases people’s resentment.
We know that hurt people are the ones doing the harming in turn and may not realize it. They tell their own stories to dress up this sad truth. However, we need toughness, a courage directly proportional to our moments of weakness.
You are an empire yourself. You may have some crumbling walls, you may have some temples that have lost their priests, yet you always have a queen who watches over all. A queen who has the courage to go out among the ruins and rebuild them with her own hands, to bring back the glory and stability to the empire.
How would you like to tell your life story? I have known such a beautiful woman… she is at the respectable age of 62 and has been through so much! She is now bedbound, though I’ve never seen a purer, more magical person than her. I see her determined to do her best to get rid of her illness which was ultimately caused by all the abuse she suffered, and to live her dream; to take care of the Animal Kingdom and to go back to knitting teddy bears created by her personal brand as she did in her youth.
She told me how one of her own teddy bears saved the life of one of her clients who, in moments of suicidal thoughts, would hug her hand- sewn teddy bear and her being would fill with warmth. Thread is the most powerful form through which energy can be concentrated and transmitted, so those teddy bears my wonderful client sewed were healers. She was preparing to close her business at that time because it wasn’t scalable, but that woman’s story kept her going regardless of profit.
We can create amazing things to share with each other because community is what sustains us and gives us life. Creating in solitude only fulfills the ego. Generally speaking, the greatest fulfillment comes when you can give your work, your gifts to the community, because you see that what you create is simply healing. As a healer you have a difficult road to travel… you have to go through fire to be purified like a sword. Its silence will cut away the darkness and let the sun shine, giving life to all who see it.
I was saying in the beginning that there are three spiritual children that we can take care of in ourselves so that we can reach the highest level of healing. This is a unique concept that I have created from my experiences and I would be happy to share it with you. In this way, self-care will take on a sacred dimension and make you resilient.
We know about the Inner Child and how much good it does us. When I think of my Inner child, I think of the times when I used to take such great care of a brown teddy bear because I thought it would come to life. I was so confident that the teddy bear would come to life, talk to me and run around the yard with me, that I would do everything I could take care of him daily. I also remember I had a doll named Elina that I was very attached to… she was different from all my dolls because she had wings and could fly to the most daring purposes. Nothing could stop her! I also remember loving to plant beans and watch them grow. It was a miracle to me every time I saw the first leaf sprouting from the ground.
The chances of you being born are one in 400 trillion. That’s when life revealed the Miracle Child. In the basket of trauma that exists, intrauterine trauma has been investigated for some time now; the possibilities by which birth can affect your later life. Depending on your temperament, you may feel guilty for the simple fact that you were born and had a chance that others of your siblings didn’t have. I was supposed to have three more sisters, but my mother miscarried. When she got pregnant with me, our different Rh made her body perceive me as a foreign element that had to be eliminated. Although she ended up in the hospital many times with an impending miscarriage, I was finally blessed to see the light of life. Do you know that feeling of responsibility you have, the need to repay something so valuable that has been given to you?
Here’s where you can easily sabotage yourself and instead of flying to the stars, you’re just throwing yourself in the mud. Things get more complicated when you’re dealing with the tall poppy syndrome. On one side you have high expectations placed on you, on the other side you end up getting some bullying because of it. Some people experience at such times a split in their personality and the shadow manifests itself in destructive ways.
I know this because I’ve been there. I had a strong shadow. It may have wished me well, but it showed it in the ways that were inappropriate for me in the long run. It wasn’t until I came out of the trance that I saw all the cleanup I needed to do because of my shadow. She was probably afraid that I would set her on fire or remove her from my inner world. Since our psyche has a life of its own, each psychological instance within us fights for its own life. So I invited my Shadow to tea. A reconciliation between us was needed, and my shadow has some precious traits that ended up changing my life once I learned how to integrate them into my future plan.
Here the shadow self is the one that offers its help to your Miracle Child, your being that has come to materialize in this world to learn, grow and love. The past is what it is, all that matters is how you handle it. In traumatic events, we assume that the part of us that experienced the trauma existed fixed in a certain time-space that no longer exists. There is only the memory, and memories can be rewritten in ways that benefit us.
Just cut out everything that is hurting you. For that you have to recognize what is hurting you and be willing to let go. We all go through times when we may even need to hurt ourselves, to self-punish. But… self-respect and self-love will purify in a way that no punishment will.
I’ll be honest with you; it will hurt. You simply have to break the illusions you’re living and turn your life and your choices 180 degrees. You have decided that from now on you will say ‘No’ to that element that steals your vitality. It could be any vice or dysfunctional defense mechanism you use, including romantic fantasies, impossible loves. We don’t even love that person. We are selfishly using them for our own personal purposes, and none of us get any long term benefit from it. It’s simply not elegant to do that.
How satisfying it is to cut weakness out of your life. It all starts with the boundaries you set for yourself, healthy boundaries, so that you exceed your capabilities. Who are you not to deserve security, a beautiful home, a faithful partner, free time for yourself? This Miracle Child inside you deserves to be fulfilled, respected and to feel the power within. This power only you can give yourself through self-respect. You set yourself standards, values and you honor them. At the end of the day what will remain with you will be the word you have given yourself and the fact that you have respected it. This is your inner pillar of strength. Raise your Miracle Child in self-respect, standards and keeping your promises to yourself. Be tough if you must, for you are doing it for your highest good.
By taking care of these two inner children, you get to take care of the Immortal Child within you. The very essence of God. Jung said that he has a child inside him that he cares for, one that bears the image of divinity. That’s what it means to make a temple of your body. To honor your body, to purify your sexuality because your body harbors divinity. Every man that we sleep with is karmically bound to our root chakra and is passing on his trauma to us.
As women, safety is our primal need and the more we expose ourselves to partners we don’t know, the more we risk destabilizing ourselves, taking their karmic debt on ourselves and fragmenting our own identity. Women may want to revenge and have sexual freedom like men do, but sex without emotional involvement or done as a dysfunctional coping mechanism destroys the life within us. What’s more pathetic and sad than a woman who ends up being seen as nothing more than a piece of meat? At the end of the day, men will prefer a well-behaved woman with whom they can start a family and who can offer them real emotional and financial stability.
Although it’s not so much about women’s sexual past as it is about the boundaries they have imposed on themselves, what rules they have been willing to go over, what do they offer to a partner interested in a long-term relationship that they haven’t offered to anyone in the past.
How much exclusivism does a particular man in your life get?
I speak about sexuality because it is necessary to alchemize our sexual energy to create the Immortal Child in ourselves in order to elevate ourselves emotionally, spiritually, to have access to a fulfilling reality. You will respect your limits, you will learn to say no, you will respect yourself at the highest level because you have within you a seed of divinity, you have the memories of your inner child and you have the miracle of existing in this life. It is easy to be weak and give yourself total freedom. Except that is the path of decay and self-destruction.
The middle way is the way to fulfill your potential. It's the path of self-respect and boundaries.
